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If Chuck Norris were President

On the lighter side of politics, imagine if Chuck Norris was president (or at least a candidate). Consider the polices he could implement (in his own words):

Require members of Congress to work out on the Total Gym 15 minutes each day – or else they can’t vote on anything.

Resurrect Bruce Lee and appoint him head of homeland security (OK, the CIA and FBI too).

Turn the Rose Garden into a new fighting ring for the World Combat League, in which liberals and conservatives will fight for legislative leadership and priority. (For fun, Saturday night fights will feature a recurring bout between Hannity and Colmes). “American Idol” already told me they will provide the entertainment.

Require Bill Gates and Warren Buffet to personally pay for national, comprehensive medical coverage for every American (or meet me in the Rose Garden).

Convey my plan for world peace to the United Nations: taking the governor of California with me on our “kick butt and ask questions later” USO world tour.

Ask producer Mark Barnett to film “Survivor – Camp David,” where world leaders will meet annually, for an all-out cage-fighting championship. The winner will take home $1,000,000 in Disney Dollars, good in Europe or America.

Replace Letterman, Leno or Conan once monthly, since stand-up comedy is what most governmental officials do anyway.

Ask Al Gore to provide me with a special governmental study on the connection between spotted owl extinction and global warming. (I’m pretty sure Michael Moore will film the docudrama).

Help Rosie transition from “The View” to the pew – it might help her get over that anger problem. If the pew doesn’t work, she can spar Trump in the Rose Garden.

With all the silliness in Washington, could the results be worse?

And that’s the lighter side of politics.

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1 Comment

  1. Joey B. says:

    He’s got my vote!!!!!!!

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